Alright ladies and gents I gotta bone to pick with one of my fellow BB girlies. I thought we were friends, I've loved and supported you these long, last 3 weeks and this is how you repay me. I thought it might be with a warm doughnut, but that's another post. Mmmmm...doughnut, ok..ok...back on track. I'm mad! As if running up and down a hill in my tightest workout pants with the repeating thought 'I bet my butt is gonna jiggle 5 min. after finishing this set', wasn't enough you had to point out my weight! Yep, you heard me right...this woman actually used the dirtiest words that I can hear while working out. 'Jenny, I can tell you're loosing weight' (pause for shock and awe). I think I actually gave her a 'go to heck' look and politely said 'why, thanks' back to her. I know, I know you're mad too and I'm still waiting on my damn doughnut! I walked away that day thinking 'gosh, why did she have to say that'? Why did she have to point out all my hard work, dedication and time I've given to making myself better. Doesn't she know that by pointing out her thoughts on my weight with positive reinforcement that she just gave my post workout brain the opportunity to sneak a cookie, OH WHO AM I KIDDING, doughnut into the day! (In your best Jenny Brain Voice) 'Well, my girl said I am looking good...I can treat myself with a cookie. Well heck why NOT A DOZEN! Ugh it never fails, in the past this constant back and forth is what has brought me to this place. Craving change, longing for a way to indulge not just my stomach but my entire self, esteem and all! I've always used the work as a justification for reward, mostly in the form of food! I never realized that it was a vicious cycle and I was destined to continue riding around in circles...looking forever for that DAMN DOUGHNUT!
That's when I realized that I've finally gotten to a place that the positive reinforcement has taken a different form. The reiteration that 'food does not define my happiness' is finally starting to sink in! Instead of 'sure you've worked hard for it...go ahead' I've gotten to, 'do you really want to do that entire workout over again for one cookie'? So, I've been trying to stick to the recipes in the program and again, I'm always surprised with how good they actually are! We've had turkey meatballs, chicken stir fry and lots of other meals that I would not have thought would be in a 'diet routine'. One of my favorite snacks is the whole wheat english muffin with almond butter and sliced banana! It is sssooo stinkin' good I always feel like I'm indulging! I'm also working at noting my hard work and progress in my book. I've definitely noticed that the days that I've indulged more than not that my energy and focus is not as stellar than on days that I'm keeping up with program! It's gotten easier to realize that food really does matter!
As for the workouts, I've definitely not be disappointed! Lolo has a way of taking a workout and injecting a lot of fun and energy into it! She is brutal but very understanding on what each and every one of our abilities are. She is really good at tailoring a workout for us and has been able to keep me motivated during the toughest parts of it! She's high energy and tough but...has surprised me with how genuine she is. At one workout we did a card game and we took turns choosing different cards from a deck to determine the exercise. I guess she did it so we wouldn't blame her for her choice in exercises...(ahem, burpees). Another workout consisted of an old favorite of mine, twister. What better way to get to know your workout buddies than up close and personal, well at least get to know their pants pattern well! You know what folks...I'm improving all the time. I can do mountain climbers and push-ups as well as stick too a full set of (ahem) burpees. My brain is also telling me less and less that 'you can't do it, just stop'. Now, it's 'let's do 2 more; HELL 5 MORE...ok let's not get crazy 3 MORE'. I'm still doing more.
One aspect of this whole thing that I didn't expect was the camaraderie and empowerment you get from your peers! We spend the beginning and end of each session talking about ourselves. Yes, that's right we spend a small portion each session in focusing on what we want. We talk about our goals, not just from the program, but from who we want to become. Why we do what we do and how to make the most of it! I've LOVED this part! It's amazing how much positivity can come out of lifting each other up and recognizing one's achievements! Everything seems so attainable when you have a cheering section! That's what we've become, a united front against our brains telling us that 'we just can't do it'. Our little hurdles turn into big achievements which lead us to even bigger goals! We've got eachother's back and we are wiling to push eachother to that next set, to loose more weight, to put down that doughnut. So, in the long run maybe my friend knew what she was doing. She was trying to push me, to lead me to my bigger goal. Or maybe next work out she will bring me my damn doughnuts...here hoping but I'm not holding my breathe! Here's to a little less jiggle in our wiggle girls! Cheers!